Last week an article came out in the Tennessean that reported that marriages in Tennessee are down 30% over the last 10 years. They are similarly down in other southern states. And remember these are states that have supposedly been designated as “The Bible Belt,” as though somehow mentioning the word “Bible” makes people automatically more moral; more importantly, more efficient at relationships.
The gist of the article was that people are opting to live together without marriage, even to have children and raise them outside the confines of marriage.
This is an alarming statistic. It a better predictor of America’s future than any other thing I know. The truth of the matter is, marriage means something. It is a covenant that is ratified and rectified by civil authority. You have to get a license. The ceremony has to be officiated and witnessed by duly recognized officiants.
People say all the time, “What does a piece of paper matter?” That’s for another day, but let me just say, “It matters. A lot.” Most of the important commitments we make in our life are ratified by signatures. And yet some people say that if your heart’s not in it, why get married? That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Your heart’s not in it when you live together. What you’re saying is this, “I’m trying you on and if you don’t live up to my standards, I’m going to walk away and leave you with all the responsibilities.”
Who are the biggest losers in this transaction? Women. Women who have been made to feel cheap, unwanted, and unable to hold the heart of a man.
There’s one way to stop this kind of madness that’s going to lead to the crumbling of our society if it’s not stopped. How do we stop it you say? Here it is. Women in America need to rise up and say “no” to wimpy men who only want one thing: sex. Sex on demand, sex the way they want it, and sex when they want it. And when they’re done, and they will be, they walk away leaving her with the children, the mortgage, the debt, and the responsibility. Ladies, you can stop men from behaving badly today by staying out of bed with these men who are not worthy of you.
Determine what you’re worth. Hold out for a good man-up man; a man with a job, with prospects, and a future; a man who will be willing to woo, wow, and win your heart, and convince you that after you sign that piece of paper and stand at the altar, the good times have just begun. A man who will convince you that “I do” doesn’t mean he’s done.